Mark Twain

Bekannte Zitate von Mark Twain

Man - a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.

Prosperity is the best protector of principle.

In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.

I can live for two months on a good compliment.

The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.

All generalizations are false, including this one.

The lack of money is the root of all evil.

There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.

If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.

I've never let my school interfere with my education.

Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.

It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.

My books are like water those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.

Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.

A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.

Don't let schooling interfere with your education.

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.

Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.

There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.

What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.

By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.

Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

We have the best government that money can buy.

Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.

I never let schooling interfere with my education.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Laws control the lesser man... Right conduct controls the greater one.

Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.

Thunder is good, thunder is impressive but it is lightning that does the work.

Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it.

What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself.

To be good is noble but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble.

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow there is no humor in Heaven.

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.

Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.

When angry, count to four when very angry, swear.

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

It is not best that we should all think alike it is a difference of opinion that makes horse races.

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.

It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.